Relationship & Attachment Issues

Most of us learned how to relate to people long before we had language for it. If closeness felt unpredictable or conditional growing up, you may have learned to hold on tightly, or to keep people at arm’s length. These are attachment patterns, the habits your nervous system developed to stay connected and feel safe. They often show up as anxiety when a partner goes quiet, discomfort with too much closeness, or the same argument on repeat. In therapy, we trace where those patterns started and what they were protecting you from. Understanding them doesn’t mean blaming yourself or your family. It gives you a way to notice the pattern mid-moment and choose something different.

Many couples and partners aren’t fighting about the dishes or the schedule. They’re caught in a cycle: one person pursues, the other withdraws, and both end up feeling unheard. Therapy helps you slow that cycle down and see what’s underneath it, whether that’s fear of rejection, a need for space, or feeling like you’re always the one reaching out. We work with individuals and couples, including LGBTQ2IA+ and non-monogamous relationships, and we don’t assume what your relationship should look like. You’ll learn practical ways to raise hard topics, repair after a rupture, and stay present when things get heated, so conflict becomes something you can get through together.

Wanting connection and feeling scared of it at the same time is common, and it usually has a history. Past betrayals, family instability, bullying, or years of hiding who you are can teach you that being fully known isn’t safe. For many LGBTQ2IA+ people, that history includes rejection or concealment, which can make vulnerability feel risky even in a good relationship. You might keep things casual, pull back when someone gets close, or feel anxious until you know where you stand. Therapy gives you a steady, non-judgmental place to practise trust at your own pace. We start with how you protect yourself now, then work toward closeness that doesn’t cost you your sense of self.

Your attachment style isn’t a life sentence. Patterns that formed in early relationships can shift through new experiences, and the therapy relationship is one of them. At Mantra Psychotherapy, our registered therapists draw on attachment-based therapy, DBT interpersonal skills, and other approaches, depending on what fits you. Early sessions focus on understanding how you relate to others and what you want to change. From there, you’ll practise new responses in session and in daily life. Sessions are 50 minutes for individuals and 75 for couples, held securely online. Most extended health insurance plans include coverage, and you can start with a free 15-minute consultation.